You didn't get your stuff for Christmas? SOOO Sorry for you. Suck it up buttercup.

I should not be shocked that people are so damn pissed that stuff didn’t show up in time for Christmas. I know that UPS guaranteed that items would be here in time for Christmas. I’m sorry you are upset, but Christmas WAS NOT RUINED because you didn’t get your new gaming console, phone, device, toy, or whatever. Christmas was ruined because you are a twat.

 

WHAT did I just say? YOU ARE A TWAT if you think Christmas is ruined because you didn’t get the overpriced crap you ordered. You didn’t plan accordingly. You really thought that during a horrific storm sweeping the east coast AND the Christmas holiday it was a smart idea to wait until last minute to order you overpriced stuff? You put your entire holiday happiness behind said stuff and now you are pissed off? I’m sorry that you have no idea what you are teaching your family to be so materialistic that they will never understand the true meaning behind holidays and family.

 

While you are bitching about the fact that your items have been delayed or misrouted, my neighbors are without power. I’m sorry that the holidays have been put on hold when my family is dealing with a sick and aging relatives are sick. I’m so sorry that your overpriced shit didn’t arrive while an old family friend is grieving her brother who died days before Christmas. Oh, I’m sorry you didn’t get new stuff when people lost their homes. I’m sorry your kids didn’t get that iPad on time when my friends are grieving losses that you haven’t experienced this year.

Maybe next year you could shop earlier so you don’t have to worry about paying a ridiculous amount of money for next day shipping. Maybe next year you will shop locally and you won’t have to worry about shipping at all. Maybe next year instead of worrying about all your stuff you could donate your time to an animal shelter, homeless shelter, soup kitchen, or just help our a neighbor.

Somehow I don’t think you materialistic twats will learn from this or even worry about all the people who really DID have their holiday season ruined by LIFE, not lack of useless shit! I wish everyone a happy and safe new year.

Journaling vs Social Networking

I’ve decided to start journaling again. Some people have no idea what journaling is. Let me explain. Journaling (for me) is the act of chronicling personal life events and feelings that you need to get out for your own personal wellbeing, but you don’t want to, or shouldn’t talk about to other people. It is the words that you can never take back. You may say, but you all ready have a blog.  I do… but the information I share on the blog I don’t mind sharing with people. Yes, it may be difficult at first, but I look at it as a form of group therapy. Journaling is a personal therapy session with me.  There are some things that just should not be posted on any social networking site, THAT children, is what journaling is for.

 

I understand that NOT posting something on a social networking site may seem foreign to some people.  So may the following analogy on why you would not want to post EVERYTHING on a social networking site… but I’m still going to attempt it….

 

Think for a moment… to a time when people didn’t have clothes dryers (I know, I may have lost many of you all ready… but try to use your imagination… again I understand that also may be foreign…if it is, just Google it before you continue). People would put their freshly cleaned laundry out on clothes lines outside to dry in the wind and sun. They would keep their damn stained underwear on a drying rack in the house… so that their neighbors wouldn’t see it. 

 

Posting everything on a social networking site is like putting your damn stained underwear on a clothes line. No one really one really wants to see it… but once it is seen you can be damn sure that your neighbors are going to judge you and talk about it when you aren’t around.

 

I’m not going to say that I haven’t been guilty of missing a stain and putting panties out on the clothes line per say…  Or maybe I’ve been so preoccupied with other things that I didn’t care. It has happened. I know I’ve been judged. I know I’ve been talked about (and almost reprimanded at a job for it…but that was many years ago). I’m not going to say it isn’t going to happen again, but it may be time to start being a little more conscious. I am aware that I’ve complained about my mother frequently, and called her what some people feel are quite horrific names. For those who truly know me, that really isn’t dirty laundry, but that flower on the crotch of my panties may look like a stain to some…

 

Why do I bring this up? I have several reasons. (I like lists; I have OCD, which has never been a secret).

a)      Some people dear in my life have learned to keep private things private. I was in awe and impressed by the maturity and thought put into that decision

b)      I have started to blog, and almost posted things that would cause horrific changes in the lives of myself and others and stopped (ok, so a dramatic way of saying I’ve typed things that if posted could never be taken back).

c)       As adults we need to teach children NOT to post everything… we can help prevent some children from being bullied if they would just stop over sharing.

1)      Sick people in this world will use this information to hurt our children (yes, I know that I don’t have children… I use our children as a phrase for all children).

2)      Sick people will use this to exploit our children (a half naked picture of young children, taken by their own phones is marketable).

3)      Sick people abduct other people based on things they see online. This goes for adults and children. We need to be smart when we “Check-in” or post pictures.

d)      We need to remember when to shut the hell up when nothing good will come of what we share. We don’t need to start drama. There is enough of it in the world all ready.

 

I’m hoping that journaling will keep me from allowing social networking to make me as socially inept (as many people have become). As a society we no longer know how to act in social situations. We have reverted to our pubesant days when we have more frienemies than real friends.

 

I’m going to try to go back to the days before social networking when you stuck by your friends because you knew their real character, and they knew mine. Journaling will help me with this. I won’t hurt feelings because someone I don’t really know “says” something to or about someone I’ve known for years.  Journaling will also allow me to not be THAT person to someone else.

 

(On a side note, I’m not against all social networking. I have reconnected with REAL friends through social networking. I have been humbled by some of my own past actions. I am in awe of forgiveness and graciousness that others have shown to me, which I did not deserve in several instances.  I don’t want to make steps backwards in those or any relationships).

I am a size whore and not in the way you think.

As a former fatty when I buy clothes I look for clothes that are the smallest size that “fit”. I refuse to buy anything above a size 12 (unless it is a fancy dress I buy at Goodwill because I can convince myself that it has been taken in to make it smaller). I have allowed society to convince me that my worth is measured by how small the number is on the tag of my pants. I am a size whore.

When I say clothes that “fit”… sometimes it is barely. I may wear a pair of pants that barely zip because I refuse to buy pants larger than a size 10, and if I can get a 6 over my curves I will buy it as long as I don’t have camel toe.  I refuse to buy things in a size large, even if I LOVE it and the medium is too small. I am a size whore.

Funnily enough, I am a “plus size” when I sew. Depending on the pattern, I have to make a 14 or a 16. I don’t care what size I have to make when I’m sewing. Why? The clothes I sew have no tag, I alter items to fit and go by my actual measurements. I can also justify this to myself because pattern sizes haven’t changed in decades.  

WHY don’t I just buy things that fit my largest areas and just alter for the smaller areas? Why don’t I cut the tags out so it doesn’t matter what size I’m wearing? Why do I care? People don’t actually go around and show the clothing tags to each other.  I am a size whore.

I KNOW that the size on my clothes don’t make me a better or worse person. The problem is that I don’t BELIEVE it. I know how I was treated when I wore a size 24. I remember how people looked at me almost like they knew that I was teetering on being too big to even buy things at Lane Bryant. I could wear the cutest most flattering dress but it was still a size 24. I pretended that I felt confident and fabulous. You won’t find a lot of pictures of me from those years of my life. If I saw that girl now, I would think she was beautiful and confident. I wouldn’t know that she feels just as self conscious as I do now.

That girl stood up straighter and seemed more outgoing to make up for the fact that she was heavier and bigger than I am now.  She went out more often and actually had more friends. Inside she was miserable. She was a size whore too.

How do I become the girl the world thought I was, and who I thought I would be when I could wear single size clothes? Why does it matter? I am a size whore. 

Living in a tourist driven area

If you live in a small touristy area you understand that your livelyhood depends on being nice to people who are assholes. People on vacation in vacationland have this assumption about how things are and how uneducated people who live and work in vacationland are. (On a side note somevery brilliant people live in vacationland. You dont't always have to have a college degree to be brilliant). They expect to come to vacationland and enjoy the slower way of life but expect to be waited on quickly and have things they want even if they forget to mention what they want. Oh, and we must be prepared for broken English or lack of any concept of the English language.

I have worked with the public for way too many years.

I am not saying that it is just or all vacationers who are assholes. Enough locals are assholes too. This gets worse in the summer. People who live and work in vacationland get down right douchetastic in summer months aka tourist season. I am included in this group. I like to be able to go to a local restaurant and not have to wait to be seated. I want to not be  cut off in traffic,  be honked at for obeying traffic signs or not cutting other people off when crossing a roadway. I certainly don't like listening to vacationers talk about how things are "at home" while they berrate an employees. I have been known to say "are you fucking kidding me?" Out louda lotthis time of year in public. If you like how it is at home so much, fucking stay home!!!

I enjoy the vacationers who actually enjoy their vacations, the people who live and work locally, and thank the people who help. These people are the one and only reason I do not completely hate tourist season. These people love the state almost as much as many of the hard working locals. They compliment you on the beauty of vacationland. They take the time to ask you questions about the area. They thank you for being hospitable (which you are even to the assholes who don't understand the restraint it takes notto kickthem in the fucking shinns).

Today I leared that locals must stick together this time of year. If you frequent a local business year round make sure to thank the owners and staff every time you visit. I say visit, because  the personal service is what brings you back every time.  You feel more like a friend than a patron. We know the owners by name, we know the ages and names of their kids, we have had drinks with them at other establishments, we run into them at the grocery store. These people work hard because they love what they do and love their  communities.  

When you go out to eat or goshopping find something positive about your experiance. For the love of God please dont't keep it to yourself! People who live and work in vacationland during tourist season don't hear the good things enough. I don't care if it is as simple as telling a thrift shop owner that you appreciate how organized the racks are, the restaurant owner how you enjoy the new artwork,  or even better than the food was cooked perfectly (which is not easy this time of year because of volume, lack of help, and asshole vacationers who send perfectly good food back). Do it! If we stick tobether during tourist season we can all make it a little less stressful!

Live free or die expo weekend

The husband and I had an amazing mini vacation weekend. It has been since April we got away. It was nice to get out the daily work rut.

Our main reason to get away was thr Live Free Or Die Tattoo Expo in Manchester, NH. We have gone for thr last three years for me to get tattooed. It is the closest opportunity to see thr amazing Tattoo Tara from Body Designs in Long Island, NY. She has been working on my hello kitty half sleeve for the last three years. It is coming out amazing.

The first year I met Tara she did tlmy hello kitty mad Hatter. Last year we took on a lot more than either of us anticipated by doing the white queen, red queen, white rabbit, caterpillar, marsh hare, field mouse AND mushrooms. This year was the Cheshire cat (much more relaxing for everyone).

I also (finally) had my right tragus pierced.

We did a lot more exploring Manchester and the surrounding areas. Each time we like the area even better. We found an area that was a great neighborhood that we would LOVE to live in.

Thr are is really easy to navigate. We wouldn't have to travel very far to find anything.. AND I could finally get a mini cooper!!! Therr is a dealership very close to thr neighborhood we were looking at.

We did shopping and found some real outlets where we scored amazing deals... like a 160 Michael Khors skirt for 11.99.

Back to work tomorrow.

I'm feeling more in control than I have in a while

Juice fast is over. I'm down 16.6 pounds. Best of all I feel more in control than I have in months.  I dont feel the urge to eat everything in sight. I'm not craving unhealthy food items. I'm feeling pretty acomplished.

Last night I wanted to skip the juice and have real food (I didn't). What was I thinkinh? A salad or sushi... no mac & cheese... no grilled cheese sandwich. ..no jellybeans. This morning at beakfast I did have a cheese omelet. It was yummy. No quiche, bagles or bacon. I'm impressed.

I feel that I may not have been in the right mind frame for my last juice fast.  I binged the day before on unhealthy foods. This time I had been eating fairly healthy to begin with. The mindset of health was there.  I tried different juices with different health bennifits. I have alao started focusing on drinking more water. I used this as an opportunity to train myself to overcome the boredom eating by drinking water.

I feel a new sense of freedom and victory.

Wish me luck as I continue my fight.

The battle rages on

The hardest thing about a juice fast is not munching when I'm bored. I realize that I love eating when I'm bored. Not eating when I'm bored is tough. I dont know what to do with myself.  That deamon is a strong one.

Since I am using this juice fast to help me kill those demons & make healthier choices I'm trying to find a way to deal with this. One thing I'm doing is having my dinner juice later. I've been doing this by keeping myself busy until at least 7. I've been making my juice for thr next day the night before. I understand that this is not the prefered way to juice. I dont have the option to prepare fresh juice for every meal, so this is working. Plus I have changed my storage for juice to mason jar, which supposedly makes it so you can store juice for up to 24 hours.

I'm drinking a ton of water.  When I get bored I drink more water... and more water. ..and more water. I've been drinking flavored water. I throw in some fruit like apples or citrus. It seems to help calm those demons better than plain water.

So far I am feeling much better...getting a bit of control and losing some weight.

Thr battle continues. I may not be able to defete the demons right away...at least will be able to control them better.

We all have our demons

We all have something that sets us off,  something that we can never say no to, something that changes how we act or react. We refer to them S many hjbgs. I refer to them as my demons. They are all controling & can cause us to spin out of control.

I didn't get fat because I didn't like food. I like eating. I hate eating. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I'm bored. I love to eat. It is all consuming. I think about what I'm going to have for dinner while I'm eating breakfast.

I had gastric bypass surgery to help me lose weight because I was completly out of control. I had heath issues associated with morbid obesity.  I was mean. I hit behind my fat, inside I was miserable. I lost enough weighy to take me from morbidly obese to obese and now I'm just overweight.

Right after my surgery it was easy to lose weight because I was restricted and physically could not eat some foods or as much of those foods.

As time progressed I found out what foods I could eat & how often I could eat. The deamons started creeping back. I started to tolerate other foods to replace some of mh favorites. 

Recently the demons have gotten stronger. I dare say the demons have gotten stronger than me at times.

I found myself way over my high limit since surgery. I started blaming it on medications. I blamed it on my ulcer & other health conditions. Truth is, I stopped fighting the demons & became friends with them. I started hating myself. I started masking my self hatered with ramen, mac & cheese, dairy free ice cream, jelly beans and grilled cheese sandwiches. And booze... a conciderable amount of booze.

Two days ago I hit rock bottom. I couldn't put on my "fat" pants (aka bloated period pants). I found a pair to wear that has stretch & called it good. I beT myself up a lot. I decided to stop beeting myself up & do something productive.

I came up with a game plan. A) avoid triggers. This means NO trigger foods. I know that a lot of diet gurus say that you should never deny yourself. They have never experianced the the emotional attachment and the strength of my demons.  B) in addition to avoiding alcohol as a trigger I'm giving up drinking. I always end up being stupid and/or getting physically ill. Drinking also makes me eat more food. C) starting a juice fast to give myself a jump start & get crappy stuff of my system.

Wish me luck in my battle!!

Getting back into shape.

So.. the doctor I saw when I threw out my back told me that I really need to get into shape or I will continue to hurt myself. Today I started walking... since I am a bit sore still I didn't want to overdo it.

Today is also my day off...so I'm wearing a dress. Yes, I went to the track in a dress... which is actually better... no pants or shorts riding up that may need to be adjusted as I walk. It would have been bettet if I wore a dress with pockets because I did have to put my keys & phone in a wristlet.

So...another reason to wear dresses instead of pants.

String of Bad Luck AKA I am a klutz

I can't seem to catch a break when it comes to many health. As you know from many previous entries I've been having tummy issues for a while & I had odd blisters pop up on my hand... tummy issues are being sorted out & the blisters are gone.

Monday I sprained my ankle & had to take time off from work with out pay.  I had to keep ice on it & have to wear a brace for a couple of weeks. The day after I sprained it really did feel like one of the longest day ever. Wednesday I had a lot to do. .. and I felt pretty well until late in the day.. iced it & it felt better.

This morning I managed to throw out my back while grabbing a towel & wash cloth... yeah,  really I did. I'm just hoping to make it through the next three days. I can't take any more time off (I really don't want to get fired).

I know other people have worse problems.  I just want to be healthy and on top of my game. I don't want to worry about hurting myself...

Bubble Island is sounding better & better.

Tummy troubles update

For those of you who have been following my recent health isaues from juicing to blisters to my inability to drink water. I finally have some news.

I had an endoscopy yesterday. The doctor who preformed it was also a bariatric surgeon so if it had been an issue with my surgery or if he had poked through my pouch (ehich he never had, but could happen) he would be able yo fix it.

I have an ulcer, which I knew I had and have been treating it. I also have gastroenteritis. I found out that I also have a vitamin B1 deficiency. (Lots of alsos). I have so many supplements and meds I have to take I feel like an older person.

Hopefully by the time I see my doctor next month I will be doing better. Tomorrow I will attempt to drink plain water and see how I react to it.

Thank you to all the well wishers, prayers, and good vibes.

Little stomach giving me big problems

So I've been feeling like ass for a while now... It all started last August/September while I was uninsured. I ended up in the ER with pain so terrible that I actually went to the ER even though I was uninsured. 

6k later I found out that I had too much poop backed up & an ulcer. I take Omeprazole when I have a flair up. I've had flair ups off & on since then. I have some bland foods for a couple days, take more Omeprazole & feel better in a couple of days.  

Over the last couple of months it has been getting worse. This was why I went on a 10 day juice fast. I felt great then had my blister issues and then I got really sick. I think it was the Antonio.  I couldn't drink water or eat much. A new juice fast made it worse. 

I started feelings little better after starting probiotics. This weekend I got really sick again. Couldn't really eat much more than ramen noodles. When I did eat other foods I began feeling crappy pretty quickly. 

I don't currently have a pcp because mine retired& I am having a hard time finding a doctor who knows much about dealing with patients who have had bariatric surgery. I called my surgeon for a referral to a gastroenterologist. She decided she wants to do some tests to make sure it isn't surgery related. Blood work & an endoscopy... Fun times.

Me being Princess worse case scenarios never a good thing... Especially when I want to look up what to expect with an endoscopy. I came across a blog of a woman who had gastric bypass surgery and had a ulcer that ate a hole in her intestines, requiring emergency surgery.

Then I wonder if I have celiac Disease... A lot of the symptoms fit... I could have IBS... I could just suck at life.

Hopefully I will have some answers soon.

I have even more respect for my friends who live with chronic pain every day. 

I thought I knew it all

Well... Not about everything, but gastric bypass surgery yes. I was incorrect. 

I AM the girl who does a lot of research. I cross check my information before I even think about putting a supplement in my body... Trying a new exercise program, fast, or diet. I won't take NSAIDs. I listened when the doctor said no booze for a year after surgery. 

I did not think about antibiotics. Antibiotics are supposed to make you better, not sick. I did not research antibiotics before I  put them in my body. I should have.

I have been sick for over two weeks since I went to the doctor for a strange blister and marks on my hand. I was concerns that I may have something contagious so I did what I thought was the right thing. The doctor had no clue what was causing my issues. He said maybe an allergic reaction, maybe an infection, maybe a virus. He prescribed me 2 days of steroids and 10 days of antibiotics to cover all the bases.

Two days into the antibiotics I was bent over in pain, but somehow making it through the day. By day five I couldn't take it any more & stopped. My hand was almost all better anyway

( we figure it may have been an allergic reaction to dish liquid). 

A week later I started another liquid diet to try to extract whatever was making me sick out of my body. I haven't been able to drink WATER without getting gassy. I had spoken to several people who had the same issue after antibiotics. 

I did the research I should have done before in went to the doctor... And cross checked that info. People who have had bariatric surgery are more likely to have excess gas and stomach pain after antibiotics. Well, that is just lovely. The solution, probiotics. So, I started probiotics yesterday. I really hope I start to feel better (for a full day) soon. 

So I guess I will research EVERYTHING I put into my body fr now on!  

I have to thank my Beau... Sort of.

This time of year my heart breaks. Animal shelters are full of wonderful furries who need new loving homes. It isn't always because people are bad and don't know that they should have pets (and other family members fixed). Sometimes people become disabled and can no longer take care of their pets... You know the drill.

If it was up to me I would have a few more cats, dogs, and maybe a couple of bunnies. Thanks to Beau I can not.

Some may ask, why does your dog have a say in this matter? Are you kidding? Well... Both Beau and Prada love people but can not stand other animals in the house. (And no, we will not be adding people. I'm not having human children). Prada would tolerate another animal..Beau, no he will not. He doesn't even like the animals who have owned the house before he got there.

Beau would be the only fur-child given the option. He springs off the couch to get in any one of the kitties' faces. He sits on Prada. He is like the crabby old man who thinks everyone should stay out of his way.

When we had a sleep over,we had to cut it short for the safety of the other dog. He doesn't get cranky if he meets other animals outside of his house, but his house is HIS house, the rest of us are lucky to live there.

So, I must thank Beau for keeping me in check. If it was not for Beau our house would be over run with more fur kids than it all ready is. We would be spending so much money on food, vet visit, litter, puppy pads, gloves, cleaning supplies and I would own no black clothes.

So, if you get annoyed on my Facebook for all of the shares for homeless pets, please understand it is only because I can't take them in myself b

Juicing done... Sickness.. All the t

So I finished my juice fast. I over all felt amazing after it was over. I had more energy. My stomach felt over all better. I was glad to be done, and glad that I did It

I have not had caffeine or booze since a few days before the juice fast. I have switched to decaf coffee & tea. I have even started drinking kimbucha.

I did eat a little bit of stuff that wasn't the best food choices, but have overall been eating better... Trading beef burgers for portobellos... Potato salad for grilled veggies.

THEN I developed a blister & rash on my hand. I went to the doctor. The doctor didn't know what it was. He treated me for an infection & an allergic reaction. The treatment? Antibiotics & steroids. So after I cleanse my body I now put crap back into my body! The steroids helped puff me out from the almost 20 pounds I lost (I gained 7 back in two days)& the antibiotics upset my stomach to a point where I wish I could vomit.

I know I complain a lot ( it is my blog so I can) buy right now I feel a little defeated. I know there are people who are going through worse things. But it still sucks.

Wearing a dress...

I have a new goal, to wear dresses as much as possible. This is especially for my days off. I don't like to spend a lot if money on a single clothing item since having gastric bypass surgery, so many of my clothes come from goodwill. I typically buy only name brand items... And yes from goodwill.


Today I wore a goodwill find. I didn't recognize the designer but just loved the fit and the color of the jersey maxi dress. I got so many compliments from strangers. My $5 find was a hit. ( which I researched on line and found that they have two boutiques... One in LA & one in NYC). Keep in mind, jersey is just a stretchy tshirt material.


Let us goe back to my personal version of Stepford post. Ladies should be ladies.

This dress is one o the most comfortable things I have ever worn. It is extremely easy to take on and off. Since it is a maxi dress if I didn't want to, I wouldn't have had to shave my legs. SO...

Ladies, think about this... My dress cost less than a pair or pjs or sweat pants. You don't have to spend a lot to look fabulous. You don't have to work hard to look fabulous. Find yourself a jersey knit dress, long, short... It doesn't matter. You CAN LOOK FABULOUS WITH LESS EFFORT THAN IT TAKES TO PUT ON A PAIR OF SWEATS AND A TSHIRT!

Still juicing

Day 6 of my juice fast is almost over. This means that I'm over half way through my journey. I can not wait! Really, has been harder than I anticipated. I didn't really prepare myself for this. I should have known better.

I had to be on a liquid diet before weightloss surgery. I assumed this would be similar. With that I just started one morning. Period end of story. That liquid diet consisted of things that were all milk based and I added extra protein powder. I didn't have a choice. I had to go on a liquid diet before surgery to prepare my body. If I had not I couldn't have surgery. I would most likely Die on the operating table if I lied about it.

Not having the option to give up, cheat, or just stop made me keep going. A juice fast has been a test of my willpower and my ability to stick with something. I am on a juice fast for health reasons. I have had stomach issues off & on since August. It is an ulcer ( and I think I may have developed ibs) that flares up off & on. I did some research and found that juice fasting should help my body heal itself because when produce is juiced correctly you lose much of the fiber so your stomach doesn't have to work so hard to process nutrients. It also helps rid the body of toxins.

Let's talk about fiber and ridding the body of toxins. Simply, no fiber, means no popping... Which means it is harder to rid your body of toxins. Easy way to aid in the passing of solid toxins, magnesium. Not too much, or you might want to put a blanket and pillow in your bathroom. Thank goodness I DID heed that warning!!!

I still really want Velveeta Mac & Cheese with bacon bits.

At the end of my juice fast I hope I will be smart and ease my body into food. I've done that before after weightloss. Again, I didn't have a choice or I could get sick and end up in the hospital.

I'm hoping that I actually learn something by the end of this!

Beets

To not get bored of juicing I’m being open minded to different veggies and fruits. This is similar to what happened after I had gastric bypass surgery. Trying new foods will help keep me away from “bad foods” or in this case food all together.

Today I tried a beet juice cocktail. (Pinned here http://pinterest.com/pin/38702878020458189/). This is also a detox juice mix. I’m not sure what might happen to me.  I’m sure that there are so many toxins in my system still I might just explode. We’ll see.

On the upside I’m feeling much better than I was a few days ago. Today is the halfway point of my juice fast… Day 5 of my 10 day challenge.

Back to beets. Beets are an interesting root. It is very “earthy” aka.. It tastes like dirt. I mixed my beet as the recipe said; with carrots, apple and ginger… yeah all I taste is dirt. The other interesting fact about beets, when you chop into a beet it makes a mess... a mess that looks like you have committed mass murder… beets are very “juicy” aka bloody. It is slightly unnerving.

I am glad I only bought two beets… 

Juice fasting and me

So... Since I've been having stomach issues since August I decided that I would try anything to help ease my stomach upset. I decided that a juice fast may just be the key. I did research and found out that yes, a juice fast was ok and even sometimes encouraged for those who have had gastric bypass surgery. I bought a juicer & found a bunch of juice Recipes. Almost all of them have been good.

There was a slight flaw in my plan. I did not prepare for a juice fast. I saw the things that said "how to prepare for a juice fast"& thought to myself " duh, buy a juicer & some produce. How hard can this be?" Well... The day before my juice fast I ate Mac & cheese, cheese, cheese covered fries, a portobello burger with (you guessed it) cheese, and chocolate. Had I read the "how to prepare for a juice fast" before starting, I would have found out that 1) you should cut out meat & dairy in preparation to the juice fast. 2) cut out processed food, such as pasta. 3) cut out all caffeine including chocolate. I only decided to read what in should have done after a co worker was discussing it with me. I assume that is why I feel like crap is slothing off through my entire digestive system.

This feeling will hopefully not last more than three days. I am hoping that it does not aggravate my ulcer. It seems that it may be. The next option is to start juicing cabbage. Supposedly people who drank a quart of cabbage juice in a blind study almost completely healed ulcers within 10 days of drinking cabbage juice. Like I typed earlier, I'm about willing to try anything.

Fortunately, I did read about what to do when coming off a juice fast... And that is to slowly introduce healthy foods back into my diet. I should continue to avoid meats, dairy, processed foods, caffeine & alcohol. So I will feel better but be very boring.

The real test for me is that I have two days off in a row. I eat Mac & cheese when I have two days off in a row. I love Mac & cheese. Processed cheesy goodness is what they should rename it. Oh, that is right folks, I LOVE VELVEETA MAC&CHEESE. Hubby hates it, so when I have two days off I make myself velveeta Mac & cheese. No, I will not liquefy it and attempt to eat it! I like to chew it. Sometimes I even eat it with Hot Dogs ( more over processed byproduct meal).

So, wish me luck Wednesday & Thursday this week. I will need it! If I can stay away from the Mac & cheese the rest will be easy.

Night before juice fast

So... I have decided that tomorrow will begin a juice fast for me. With all the belly issues is been having since August I'm going to try anything.

For my "last meal" we decided to try the Ellsworth Ale House. I ordered the Alice in Wonderland which is a portobello "burger" and mozzarella cheese. It was very tasty. The hubby had Hawaiian burger. The food was pretty good actually. The problems 1) we could barely hear each other 2)it was a bit over priced. 3) it appeared unfinished. Sadly, I think we may be looking at another Restaurant in that location that wi be short lived.

Juicing (and not with drugs)

Today I had to call out sick from work. I was doubled over in pain and wasn't sure if I was going to vomit or shit (it's a blog.. And I'm all about honesty here). Needless to say it was not a fun filled day.

The only thing I could seem to eat was ramen noodles ( not the most healthy food choice since it has no nutritionally value). It was a pretty wretched way to spend a beautiful day... Let alone a sick day (even though I am not the type to call out when I'm not sick. On a beautiful day I would like to do that just once... But I would feel guilty).

I was doing some research on line to find out if after gastric bypass I could do a juice fast. I was surprised to see that it was actually encouraged. I had it drilled into my head that I needed protein protein protein and veggies were just an after thought if I had room. I found some juice combos that are specifically for stomach issues.

I had my loving hubby pick up some produce for me to try it. I almost instantly felt better.

So the decision has been made, that I'm going to attempt a 10 day juice fast to help my stomach feel better. I pretty sure that I have an ulcer and I'm starting to wonder if I may suffer from ibs. Hopefully this will help me get my tummy under control and maybe lose the last 20/25 pounds at the same time. I have a feeling that my current weight gain may be related to my stomach pains.

Wish me luck.

I'm Looking For My Own Version of Stepford

Today I found myself depressed. Why? The sun is shining and I have the day off from work.

I got ready to hit Goodwill… got out to my car. As soon as I walked into Goodwill sadness came over me… I see people wearing sweats in public, people who haven’t washed or brushed their hair… and here I am hair strait, makeup perfect and even wearing false eyelashes. I felt extremely out of place.

Just last week, I was walking around Las Vegas wearing a fabulous dress, makeup perfection and I felt like I belonged there… Ladies were wearing dresses. People had hair done. I don’t remember seeing ONE lady walking around in sweats, hair a mess, oh and there were showgirls posing for pictures.

I’m not as conceded as one may think, but I enjoy being a lady, I enjoy being fabulous, and I enjoy being surrounded by other people who take pride in the fact that they are also fabulous. I think that ladies should look like ladies, be free to express themselves in any fabulous way they see fit. If you want have fabulous tattoos, show your fabulous tattoos!  If you have piercings, be PROUD of your piercings! If you want to have rainbow colored hair, have it as bright and as loud as you choose! If you want to wear false eyelashes and glitter make up at 10am, I will join you!

I think it is time to create an updated version of Stepford… Yeah, I said it. I think ladies should be ladies and men should be men (unless they want to be ladies and happen to look fabulous in a dress), BUT only if they choose. My version of Stepford would bring back Martini Lunches, and ladies asses being slapped in the workplace (because frankly, some days I would like a smack on the ass), and everyone would work 9 to 5, and have neighborhood BBQs on the weekend, and galas once a month!

Ladies would wear fabulous dresses; corsets, pencil skirts and matchstick pants, and their buffonts would be in colors like Pink, Blue, Purple, and green (if they choose). Men would not wear saggy ass jeans or ripped pants! If a man wants to wear a tie all day, he can wear them in ANY pattern or color he chooses. If he wants to wear an ascot, that would be fabulous. If any many wants to rock a little 70s style chest hair, have at it!!! Hats (not baseball caps) would be encouraged.

You could paint your house any way you want!! None of the cookie cutter Stepford here! If you want to paint polka dots on your house, we would throw a painting party! If you want a white-washed house that is your choice, and we will be there with rollers to help!

You would be encouraged to have pets (but required to pick up his or her poop)… There would be no breed specific legislation! The vet would make house calls! My Pomeranian would be chasing your pit bull!

Ok… So I may be getting a little sidetracked here…

Long story short, who would like to help me build a gated community that feels like an updated version of the 1950s & 1960s where we all live in harmony?

Interesting Development in music

Many know that I'm not a fan or Country Music or Rap music... So my interest in Accidental Racist with Brad Paisley and LL Cool J came as a surprise. ( frankly I've always though LL Cool J was nice to look at, but I have never been a fan of his music).

Controversy is brewing around this song. Since I really do love a little controversy, I had to know more. I looked up the lyrics and watched a couple of news spots about this song. Brad Paisley was on Ellen talking about his song.

As a collective we never want to admit thy we are all a little racist without realizing it. Every person will swear that a racist none doesn't exist in his or her body. This song calls bull shit. We may not hate other races and may have a best friend of another race that doesn't mean that we don't make choice that are racially insensitive.

We have all said or at least thought that we are tired of paying for the mistakes of our ancestors. We have all thought about how we have been treated because of our ancestors. We have all thought about our gender and sexual orientation affects our treatment even today.

I'm not saying that racism is right. I am saying that we ALL need to learn a little more acceptance. We all need to look forward, not backward. Our present does not have to marred by events of our past.

We could learn a lot from this collaboration of a country musician and rap icon.

Vacation is almost over

Nothing too exciting happened the last night we were in Las Vegas. We packed our bags, had some dinner and did a little gambling. We went to bed early so we could be up at 5am.

Last day of vacation, we got up early. We had difficulty finding anything open for breakfast. Dunkin’ Donuts it was. Not our first or even second choice, but it was what was available that early in the morning.

We got on our shuttle right on time. We got to the airport and through security quickly. Our flight from Las Vegas to Phoenix was uneventful.

…When we got to Phoenix we found that our flight to Philadelphia was canceled because of a mechanical issue. We had the most amazing travel agent who was trying to contact us as soon as we landed. When I called her she was all ready on the phone with the airline making alternate flight arrangements for us. We were able to get on a flight to Washington DC, and were booked for a flight the next day to Bangor. The representative she spoke with at the airline suggested we attempted to get on an earlier flight, but we could not be booked for it because the transfer was only 20 minutes.

Our flight from Phoenix to Washington DC had Wi-Fi access. It was not free UNLESS checking the airline’s website. That was exactly what I needed. Throughout the flight I was checking our flight’s arrival information including gate and the information for the illegal transfer flight. When we landed we had next to no time to get on the flight. We arrived at gate 38, and the flight to Bangor was leaving from gate 35A. We were in luck! We got to the gate and were told that the flight had just left. We didn’t realize that we had to take a bus to the plane. We headed back up the stairs when we heard “wait, the plane HASN’T left yet.” Ernie tried to walk DOWN the up escalator. That was amusing.

The representative got us to the plane before the other passengers and we were on the flight to Bangor!!!!

When we got to Bangor, our luggage wasn’t there (there was no way it could have been). The next morning it was at the airport waiting for us. We only had ONE item damaged. It was slightly our fault for not wrapping it properly.

We have made several decisions during our vacation: 1) we will be going back to Las Vegas again next year. 2) We WILL work with our travel agent again (none of the online travel site could have taken such good care of us. 3) we WILL fly US Airways again. 4) In spite of some slight inconveniences, this has been our best vacation (SO FAR)!

Where did the time go?

Busy...busy...busy.

Where did our time go???

Yesterday we went out to the Palms.  We had a great sushi lunch and I won a couple hundred dollars. We did a little more shopping. We hung out down town for the evening.  We really hadn't spent a lot of time downtown since we got here.

We had a fabulous dinner at the Grotto. Food there is AMAZING. I won another hundred.

We bought showgirl drink containers... they are amazing & have boobies...hahahaha

I lost a hundred ( I lost my gambeling sense with the intake of alcohol).

Today is our last real day in Las Vegas... so we did some more shopping. We we not so happy with the Fashion Mall as we have been in the past... my biggest sadness....the Sanrio store was  closed!!! I honestly was only interested in that one thing in the mall.

We found the most amazing Sephora ever... We thought it may have closed since the last time we were in Las Vegas... but luckily we found it today. I had the most amazing makeover from Brandon with Makeup Forever...I havent worn neutrals in the past because they were so boring. He showed me how to make it look unbelievably fabulous & actually makes me look younger.... and how to add a pop of  color to it to make it even more AMAZING!!!

We had lunch at the  Cheesecake Factory. Sadly the waitress forgot to put in our orser for fried mac & cheese. The food & drinks were still amazing.

We then decided it was time to head back downtown... we grabbwd some dried fruit & jerkey for the trip home.

Not sure what the plsn is tonight... tomorrow we leave the hotel at 730am to head back to Maine.

First full day in Vegas was amazing!

Yesterday was FABULOUS!!! We started the day with me having my photo taken with a show girl.

We went into a toy store that had a REAL Bild Lily Doll!!!

We FINALLY had our photos taken at the Las Vegas Sign. This was a huge deal. First of all, we had to walk forever to get thee. The bus doesn't go far enough. We had to risk our lives to get there because it is in the middle of the highway!!! We met a sweet couple from the UK who took our pics for us. Too bad they were leaving, they would have been so fun to party with.

On our way back we stopped at Tacos & Tequilla in the Luxor for lunch. (I had a resturants.cim certificate). It was amazing!!! Our waitress was honest with me about a drink unordered ( it sounded fabulous, but evidently sucked). Her recommendation (not more expensive so she wasn't trying to make more money) was AMAZING!!!

We went to several other hotels on the side of the strip before I was just exhausted! Ernie picked up his free tickets to Zarkana. Let me just say how awesome it is to get over $300 worth of tickets for FREE!! We can't we can't wait to see our first Cirque du Soleil show tonight!!!

We went back to our room to take a nap. Unfortunately I am fighting being sick, so it has been a bit tough.

After our nap we headed to Drink & Drag. We were just going for a couple of drinks... But Coco Montrese was hosting a viewing of the latest episode of Ru Paul's Drag Race!!! I had my photo taken with he & got a signed button. We also had am amazing bartender that made axing drinks.

We went to dinner at Hennesy's. Dinner was pretty good. I will say, I enjoy the foo at Finn's much better. Our waitress took a break in the middle of our service.

We did a little gambling & decided that it was nap time.

Can't wait to see what today brings!!!

Welcome to fabulous Las Vegas.

So... This blog post is coming to you from fabulous Las Vegas,NV.

Our trip here was a little bumpy (literally and figuratively). Last night I had half composed a blog that was more a tantrum than a blog. I'm glad that I inadvertently deleted it. It really made me look like more of a spoiled princess than one of the luckiest women on the planet.

We did have an interesting adventure. The first part of our flight was uneventful. I actually feel like TSA has gotten more friendly. The body scan wasn't really that big of a deal. Our flight was not even Hal full. That was wonderful because that meant we were able to change seats with no problem.

I DID wear a mask on the flight. It was initially to avoid getting sick, but I was the sicky and it really became more of a service to other passengers since I was coughing the who flight.

The second part of our trip was more interesting. We has a group of cackling teens that ended up having to be spoken to by the flight attendant I shut up during the in flight instructions.

THEN the woman in our row got drunk & kept grabbing poor Ernie in her sleep. Her friend across the isle was so waisted that she FELL OVER INTO THE ISLE!!! It wa crazy to say the least.

We had a bit of an issue with the shuttle to our hotel. But we got here!!! :-)

We had a good dinner/ breakfast ( at 230 local time). We slept for a few hours... And now it is time to start a new day. I wonder what adventure today will bring.

No matter what type of day it will be... It we be fabulous!!!!

week long catch up

Oh holy horror… I haven’t talked about the wonderful things in life for a full week!!!!! Shame on me!!!! I’ve been distracted by playing games to win free stuff for our Las Vegas Trip!!!! Making (and buying) new outfits for our Vegas Trip… ok, I’ve been distracted all around preparing for our Las Vegas Trip

 

3/11 Day off… what is wonderful about 3/11? What wasn’t? The hubby & I had a day off together. We were able to spend an afternoon with a wonderful friend. It is nice to know that there are people we enjoy the company of.

 

3/12 Day off… LADIES lunch. One of the fabulous ladies I worked with and I had a great lunch & caught up.

 

3/13 I was able to take an overnight trip to Portland. The best part, taking the new car for a road trip. She is so fun to drive. :D

 

3/14 I love work meetings when I see people I haven’t seen in years… freebies… and a trip to the Coach outlet on the way home.

 

3/15 I was able to get all my errands done in record time, received an unexpected check in the mail, and got to work some over time.

 

3/16 TACO Saturday!

 

3/17 The last Sunday I work before vacation!

Playing wonderful catch up!

It has been too many times since I posted about what was wonderful… SO I guess it is time to get started.

3/6/13 We had a great visit and dinner with the cousin. WE started by watching Breaking Dawn part 2, which I found HILARIOUS! I was not the only one with commentary… but I understand why I wasn’t allowed to see it in the theater. ;-D

After the movie was over, the cousin went home. Halfway down the road we realized that our re-dvring of RuPaul’s Drag race happened earlier than we anticipated. The cousin turned around and we watched RuPaul’s Drag Race AND Un-tucked. It is always a wonderful night when we watch RuPaul.

3/7/13 I LOVE Tide Boost. I thought it was a gimmick, but the laundry smells and looks amazing. I LOVE fresh clean laundry!

3/8/13 I weighed in for my healthy work challenge and found out that I lost 3.2 pounds so far!!!!

3/9/13 TACO SATURDAY!

3/10/13 Daylight Saving Time!!! Many people don’t think it is wonderful, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting out of work when it is still light out! (and we had leftover Tacos YUMMMY)!

I have done something I would not normally do

I have decided to do something which I would not normally do. I actually have been against it for some time, because I feel that it is unhealthy, but I wonder if it is the lesser of the evils.

I’m not talking about medical marijuana that is another story for another day… I’m talking about tanning.

For years I have been anti tanning beds, and if I have wanted to looks tan, I have done spray tanning. I wear high SPF sun block and stay inside for the most part in the summer. The problem is the husband and I are going on vacation. We are going to Last Vegas the first week of April. (Don’t get ideas about robbing the house. There is nothing you would want AND we are having someone house/dog sit). The last two times we have gone to Las Vegas it has been cooler and we haven’t spent a lot of time walking around or outside. This year we have some new plans.

We have new plans for several reasons. 1) Honestly I’m not so heavy and willing to have my photo taken more. 2) We are going to be in Las Vegas longer this time. 3) I’m not on new meds that  I can’t drink with and we plan to walk around outside buzzed for most of the time ( I don’t need a lecture I’m over the age of 21… well over the age of 21 so thhhhppppt). 4) The last time we were in Las Vegas I was a pissy kitty and that will not happen again

I still plan on wearing sun bock, but even with sun block, I usually burn. I have decided to preemptively avoid this by tanning prior to going to Las Vegas.  I think this very well may be the lesser of the two evils. It will make it easier to enjoy vacation because I won’t have sunburn. By not worrying about sunburn I won’t have to wear long sleeves the whole time I’m in Las Vegas. I won’t have to worry about frightening people with the whiteness of my legs.  If I were to get sunburn I would be a pissy kitty again.

I have found another pleasant side effect of tanning; I am in a better mood and actually have more energy to do things. It may be because my insides are slowly cooking, but I’m trying to not think about that .My intent is to only tan up until vacation and for therapeutic reasons only.

I KNOW that I have many friends who are on both sides of the tanning debate. I welcome your comments and I will agree with those who are fair skinned as myself that this is not the best thing for me, but really, it is the better option.

My wonderful world (catchup 2/23, 24&25)

Is have been having a  hard time keeping up with my wonderful posts...so it is blog time to play catch up.

2/23/13 was a wonderful day becauss I started on my latest sewing project. I am working on making some new, lightweight, easy, semi wrinkle free & cute items to take with me when the hubby & I go to Las Vegas. You KNOW when I'm in crazy sewing mode,  it must be a new season of Project Runway. I really enjoy this new season!!!!

2/24/13 was wonderful for many reasons. Hubby is finally starting to get over his cold. I LOVE driving my new car! It handles so well in the snow. My pups were extra snuggly. I watched a couple episodes of Haunted Collector.

2/24/13 has been an amazing day. The hubby & I both slept in. We both had the day off. Hubby is feeling even better. We took a little shopping trip & we drove with the sunroof open. I purchased the last piece I needed to finish my latest sewing project.I bought Beau's birthday gift for tomorrow. We ended the afternoon with a great dinner with our godson & mommy.

I am excited to see what wonders tomorrow will bring!

What is up with my dreams?

What is going on??

I’m not sure what is going on with my dreams lately, but they are a mess!

The other night I had a dream that I was possessed by a demon. The only way to remove the demon was to possess me with another demon and then perform an exorcism. In my dream, we ran out of time with the exorcism and I had to get ready for work. The battling demons caused me to punch a co worker in the face in my dream.  How do you explain to HR that you had no control over your body at that time, because the exorcism was not completed before the beginning of your shift?

Last night I was car shopping. I was test driving a car & while I was driving I developed amnesia. I couldn’t remember where I was going and was almost in Canada and was trying to turn around because I knew I did not have my passport with me. I was also trying to figure out if I was test driving the car or if I had purchased it. I was really hoping that I hadn’t purchased it, because driving it was very uncomfortable. I woke up and I was all cramped up from “driving” the car.

I wonder what nocturnal adventures tonight will bring.

1/11/13 wonderful post

So I maybe running a day benind, but at least I am posting.

Yesteday was wonderful because the husband & I went to dinner at Finn's. We were served quickly & thr food was amazing (as usual). They happened to have coconut  curry chicken soup( which happens to be one of our favs).

Wonderful things can be seemingly ordinary, but if it makes a day better, then wonderful it truly is.

I' m trying to stay positive with my wonderful posts, but there are some snarky and sarcastic points in my day which were wonderful  I am keeping those to myself...or at the least out of my wonderful posts. :-)

I hope everyone has the opportunity to find the wonderful in their day!

Wonderful day 1/10/13

Yesterday was a wonderful. Yesterday was so wonderful that yet again, I didn't make my wonderful day post.

I had a great lunch with two ladies I used to have the pleasure of working with. We have even more catching up to do. I'm not really sure why we missed the last two months, so I will have to make sure to be on top of that.

I took my little boy dog for a drive. He really needed it, it was nice to get out.

Last night the Mister and I went shopping (one last time until my self induced shopping break kicks in). Wide had a nice night out, and I guess he needed to get out of the house as bad as my little dog did.

Who knows what wonderful things today will bring?

Double duty wonderful post 1/8/13

I was so darn tired last night I didn't do my wonderful post, so today is double duty.

Today I was able to spend a wonderful, relaxing day with Kristen & Brysen. Anyone who has never met this amazing mum & son are missing out. Kristen is a great mum, and what a mum should be and do for her kids. Brysen is a pretty darn amazing kid. He is the true reason I'm warming up to children & don't bitch when I see children in public as must. He has to be the happiest kid ever, so well behaved and just too darn cute! I'm damn lucky to be his Godmother.

Double duty day... I DID NOT HAVE TO WEAR MY FLEECE LINED TIGHTS UNDER MY PANTS TODAY!  I also wore my fleece jacket instead of my winter coat today. Let the heat wave begin!

I'm blessed & really do have a wonderful life & wonderful people to share it with!

Wonderful day 1/3/13

I am continuing with my daily wonderful. Some days may be something profound or exceptional. Other days may appear mondane, but it is still something wonderful in MY day.

Today, I received my new purse, wallet and id holders in the mail. I was concerned that the purse may be too big, but it is actually perfect for all the stuff I carry around.

I'm very excited.

This makes MY day wonderful.

Wonderful day 1/2/13

Even though, the wonderful thing did not happen to me, it doesn't make it any less wonderful.

Today, I am in awe of the generosity of people to strangers all over the U.S.

My awe started with a news story of a man who gave up his home & moved back in with his mother. He moved back home to give a homeless family a hand up. He didn't need all the space, and a family living in different shelters ( because of the age and sex of one of the children) now live together. The family will be able to live there rent free for a year.  As a child, he remembered how is father helped out individuals by sharing the spare room in the family home. This man took that generous legacy and kicked it up!

I continued to be awed by the generosity of people while watching the local news tonight. A local individual has put a rare signed copy of a Stephen King book up for auction to help buy heat for local families who can not afford to heat their homes. This man, remains anonymous, but he will be a true hero to many families in Hancock County I'm sure.

Each day this year will be filled with something ponderous, of this I am positive.

Welcome to my wonderful day 1/1/13

Today I have decided that each day, I will share something wonderful about each and every day. This is to help me be grateful for all the little things in life. I don't have a glamorous or excciting life, but that is ok. I have many small things I take for granted, and don't acknowledge them all. Some days I may even ignore the wonderful things and focus on the bad. I truly feel that by acknowledging even the small things, I will be a happier person and so will those around me.

I may post via blog or a quick facebook update. I intend to post daily.

Welcome to my first day of 2013!

When I arrived home from work today, I was greeted with a smile from my little "man" Beau (aka Duke Beau of Hazard, Beau Beau Bunny Butt, Bunny Butt , and for the cousin only Beauseph). Nothing on the sweeter than the unconditional love of a dog.

Here is to a wonderful year!