Crazy Dreams... Where did this come from?

I know that I’m not the only one that has crazy dreams. This one was SO real that I almost thought it was true when I woke up. I was almost crying, I couldn’t believe it happened.

I was being my regular crazy self. I was learning to ride a motorcycle. A good friend of mine was trying to teach me I should say. Yeah, I kept dumping the bike. He didn’t get mad at me. After I would have an unsuccessful session of learning to ride, we would go dancing and get hammered ( I needed some way to deal with the pain from falling so many times). This, unfortunately was not the sad part of the dream.

After one night of crazy drinking. I woke up naked, on the floor (again, not the part that made me cry). My friend asked when I got the tattoo on my ass, because it was hot… almost as great as my tits (again, not the crying)… wait, that was when I started crying. WHEN DID I GET A TATTOO ON MY ASS?

I went and stood in front a full length mirror (yeah, my guy friend has a full length mirror in his house… go figure). And right above my left ass cheek, like a tramp stamp to the left, in cursive I saw the words, “Permanent Resting Bitch Face”. I guess I should have been glad that it was all spelled correctly.

Hubby hears me screaming, and wakes his ass up. He is already pissed off because he thinks I’m annoying drunk. He comes running into the room, even more pissed that I’m not sleeping next to him in a strange house. Then he gets extra pissed that I’m in another man’s room buck ass naked.  He looks right at me and asks, “What the hell?”

I manage to sputter out, “When did this happen?”, and point to my ass.

He looks confused, and asks, “What are you talking about?”

I scream at the top of my lungs, “This fucking tattoo across my ass!!!!”

He just shakes his head, and asks, “Really?!?!”

I ask him how long he has known about it (it is obvious that I’ve had it for at least a couple of years. It is well done, and obviously well healed).

He goes back to bed.

I eventually find out that I’ve had the tattoo for years. It started out as a cover-up to a home done butterfly tattoo. Then I just started doing a whole “piece”. It all came back to me. No, I wasn’t drunk tattooed in my dream. It was just that I don’t typically look at my own ass, so I happened to forget about it (kind of like my cat on the back of my neck).

When Ernie wakes me up, I tell him about the dream and he can’t stop laughing. He slaps my ass, and tells me, don’t worry, no tattoo. no tattoo.

You are beautiful

Ok, we ALL battle with weight. We all kick ourselves for the extra 5,10,20...100 pounds we carry around. Why?  Are we healthy? Are we suffering from co-morbid health issues?

If we are suffering from co-morbid health issues then, yeah we need to lose a few pounds. I have admittedly put on about 20 pounds from my lowest weight. I got sick, the only things that made me feel better were really unhealthy foods. I've been pretty mad at myself. I've been beating myself up.  I've been thinking of myself as a failure.  Why? For crying out loud, I lost 135 pounds (even if I put 20 back, I am still down 115 Pounds)! I HAD high blood pressure. I HAD irregular and painful menstural cycles. I COULD NOT walk up my stair with out my knees hurting.  Hell, I COULD NOT walk up my stairs with out getting winded. I WAS pre-diabetic & I WAS on medication for it. That is all in the past. I NEEDED to lose weight.

I don't have any of those health issues anymore. I don't have 115 pounds (of almost pure fat) anymore.

What has the extra 20 pounds done to hurt me? I went from a size 6/8 to a 10/12... a s/m to a m/l. My belly sticks out a little bit.  I feel bad about myself. I haven't had any of those health issues come back. But, eat because I feel bad about my weight. I've been fat shaming myeself! Fat shaming has been counter productive. 
I'm still the same person with an extra 20 pounds. I'm not less healthy, but if I keep beating myself up I COULD end up sick again, I know this.

I came across this video today:

http://bodyimage.waywire.com/video/Fat-Shaming-Makes-You-Fatter

Watch it, really think about it, then come back. I will wait.

Did that video make anything clearer for you?

Let me tell you what it told me. I don't need to hate my little gut.  I am NOT a number on a scale or the size of my dress.  At the same time, I'm not going to lie to myself. I need to keep my weight in check and watch for signs that I'm unhealthy. I'm not going to lie to myself or not listen to my body.

If I'm healthy, I am ok. I'm better than ok, I'm amazing!

The point is, love yourself, no matter what size, YOU are amazing!

Do you knowhow blessed YOU are

I take a lot in my life for granted.  I complain about first-world problems. A lot of people complain, get depressed about money, how they look & how people perceive them. Many of us don't know better. Many of us don't care. Many of us live for drama. I think it is time for me to be greatful.  It is time to take charge for me. Time for me to stop negativity within. Time to stop the outside negative factors.

I have a lot to be greatful for. I'm greatful for the friends I don't see or even talk to daily. I'm greatful for the people I would have called acquaintances in the past, and now call heroes. I'm especially greatful for people who push me with positive encouragement. 

I am greatful for my husband.  I don't think he really understands how important he is. We have been married for just over 15 years . We have been through tons of shit. We have fought,  made up, and been there for each other. What we have is something to be especially greatful for.

I have been through many health issues, including my constant struggle with my weight and being healthy. I have gotten to a point where I've put on more weight than I would like since surgery.  It happens. I wanted to start getting active and healthy again. I got sick, and picked up some terrible eating habits again.  I have been lazy.  I keep talking about getting healthy. It was all talk.

The other day I decided to stop being lazy. I wanted to go back to Crossfit. My work schedule prohibited it. I got bummed. I got sick. I reminded myself that I couldn't let myself slip much more. My surgery was my last option. If I slip too much more I have no more options. I hate asking for help. I reached out for help.

My husband knows when I'm serious about something. I always think I'm ready. He seems to know,  only then does he jump on the bandwagon.  He decided thar he wanted to work out with me. He suggested couch to 5K. He didnt stop there, he said, if we were going to get healthy, we should eat healthy too.

Yeasterday, I was fortunate enough to have some two new-found heros put up with the fact that im horribly out of shape again and agree to go jogging/walking with us. Yeah, I brought up the rear by a lot. No one complained that I was a slow poke. No one used negativity to motivate me. I needed that.

This morning , before the ass crack of dawn, my husband woke me up for our official couch to 5k beginning.  He was not an ass, but stern with me that I would NOT fight him about getting out if bed. Still asleep, I put on my workout gear & we headed out.

During our cooldown, we passed my new found heroes with smiles & words of encouragement.  No judgement, just graciousness.

I'm greatful for many things. Today, im greatful for new found positive heroes.  I'm greatful for my husbsnd who knows me better than I know myself. I'm especially greatful for today, because we only get one today, and I will make it count!

Thank you FTC, for allowing the continuation of bad parents

F**ck you FTC!

The FTC is suing Amazon because it is too easy for children to make in app purchases. This wouldn’t happen if parents would stop using technology to entertain their spawn. How about parents stop throwing their smartphones and tablets at their children when they start crying? Try actually putting down your own smartphone and pay attention to your own children?? That would involve parenting. What I see every day indicates that actual parenting is a dying art form.

Seriously FTC. I can think of many better ways to use the time and resources of this government agency. A) Work on ways to keep production of goods and services in the United States. B) Stop imports which are unsafe to use or ingest. C) Stop imports from companies which use child labor.

Why is it so difficult for the FTC to actually do what it is supposed to do, protect consumers? By suing Amazon you aren’t protecting consumers. You are allowing lazy people to continue being lazy. You are setting a terrible example. What is next? Making the cell phone carriers and manufactures pay for accidental 911 calls because some one’s child accidently calls 911? It is one thing if you pocket dial once or twice in your life time. It is another if it is because you give your child a phone to shut them up and then don’t pay attention to what is going on.

Frankly, I’m sure some people are going to say, “You don’t have children, you just don’t understand.” They would be correct. I don’t understand how you bring a miracle into this world and choose to ignore it. I don’t understand why the government is going out of its way to allow you to continue to being a lazy parent. Hell, the FTC is actually REWARDING you for being a bad parent.

Again, I say F**k you FTC, and F**K you lazy parents. You are the reason this has happened. Take some responsibility for your own actions. If you can’t, keep your legs closed, or you dick in your pants. We have enough dicks in the government and we know what they create.

I will not write a bad review. I will just blog about it.

After many years being brutally honest about restaurant & hotel experiences I vowed to never write another bad review because it came back ro me as terrible karma. My reviews were the truth and justified. From having food spilled on me so horribly that I had to go buy new clothes before a concert to waitng two hours for a pizza, mold in showers, peanuts on the floors of hotel rooms, among other wretched events. I was indeed justified.

I have had some amazing experiences tha I have also reviewed. I have called to speak with managers when I receive outstanding service. I still do. I'm not a negative nancy all the time. Honest.

That brings me to our trip to Lewiston.  I'm fighting the urge to talk to the manager, write a review and even contact corporate. I know that the karmic retribution will not be pretty.

The hotel we are staying at is a maze at best. The front desk clerk had no personality and was grouchy (we checked in on the earlier aide....830pm). It is non smoking,  but seriously?  I had a difficult time breathing when I walked throigh one of the 5 corridors it took to get to our room.

Our room... well there are used qtips under the sink,  the frige has a ring of something resembling koolaid on the inside door. The stopper for the sink does not work.  The floors are stained.  The iron shuts off & I had to unplug it & plug it back in to make it work.  Oh.... and the beds? ??? So small Ernie and I slept like old married people from 1950 in separate beds (there are things I enjoy aboutthat rime. Separate beds is NOT one of them).

We have of course stayed in worse rooms for more money And nicer,  cleaner rooms for less.

Let us fast forward to breakfast.  Breakfast is not included in our stay. That isn't an issue. I don't mind having to pay for breakfast in a nice hotel (which this really is not). Breakfast buffet is $5.99. Not a problem. That is cheap enough. We had been told that is was a great breakfast buffet, the person practically salivating at the thought.  We get to breakfast,  the space is nicely set up. They actually had table cloths & cloth napkins.  It was all a facade.

They had two juices... cranberry & orange. No apple. No tea. No milk. No ice water.  They did have coffee (which was so acidic it upset my stomach). They had two types if bread for toast. Cheap white & equally as cheap wheat. No English muffins. No bagels,  no cream cheese. Eggs were mediocre at best. Bacon was rubber. Home fries were cold. Sausage was cold & rubbery. I did not try the french toast. It looked like it may have been made the night before and reheated.  If it was anything like the muffins,  it could have bern DAYS past expiration.

We have stayed in a lot of hotels. Some more expensive & much less expensive.  A hotel we frequent in NH is less, with a full kitchen and a FREE breakfast with much better food.  Hell, we have stayed at a Comfort Inn with better continental breakfast.

I'm fighting to keep this morning's breakfast down.

I can say, I am really looking forward to this weekend being over!

Feminine Feminist

Feminine Feminist? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Not exactly, and yes.

Today I read a blog entry about a feminist who decided to have breast augmentation. She wrote about how she kept it to herself out of fear of what others would think or say. She didn’t want potential employers to assume she was intellectually lacking. She even wrote a book about her journey under a pen name! (wtf)

Isn’t feminism about women being accept as equals to men?> isn’t feminism about women being able to make our own choices about our bodies? When did feminism become about being LESS feminine?

If you have followed my blog, you know I long for a Stepford like place where ladies are ladies, and men are men. I long for a place where women (and lady boys) take the time to be fabulous. Men appreciate and take the time to enjoy and appreciate it. This DOES NOT make me an antifeminist.

I see nothing wrong, and actually am in awe of the women who are stay at home moms (who are actually moms and not just a mother who chooses to stay at home and not pay attention to her children…but that is for another blog). Stay at home moms have a hard job. It is a choice that a woman has made, and the choice she makes is her CHOICE, not something that has been dictated that she must do.  That doesn't make me an anti-feminist.

Feminine and being a feminist have become a dirty words. Put them together and people are confused. Feminine is defined as having qualities traditionally ascribed to a woman. Feminist is defined as an advocate of social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men.  Looking at the definition, why would having traditional qualities hinder your ability to be a feminist? Feminism should by definition embrace being feminine because feminism encompasses qualities of a woman (traditional or otherwise).

 Ladies, if you choose to dress in a more masculine manner that is also your choice. If you choose to wear your hair long and wear dresses, that is your choice. If you choose to have a breast augmentation, reduction, liposuction, lip injections, or Botox. That is your CHOICE! How you dress or choose to enhance yourself does not make you more or less of a woman. You are still a woman! By making choices in your personal and professional life you are a feminist. You are standing up for choices that men have had for years.

Ladies, feminine, masculine, or androgynous stand up and be proud. You are a woman! No matter what you look like or what job you have, you are a feminist!

I am a Tattoo Show Junkie

I am tattooed and I love tattoo shows.

A lot of people think that people who actually have tattoos and really think about their tattoos don’t watch tattoo shows. This isn’t 100% true. I am a tattoo show junkie.

I watch Best Ink, Ink Master, Bad Ink, and Tattoo Nightmares. I watched Miami Ink, New York Ink, and LA Ink. If Tattoo Titans was available on demand I would watch that as well.

People may wonder why I watch tattoo shows. I love tattoos. I love watching people be tattooed. I love being tattooed. I also go to tattoo expos/conventions when I can. I think all of these things help me be a better consumer. Some people may not agree.

Since watching tattoo shows I’m pickier when I chose an artist (I wish I had been years ago). I make sure the artist has a portfolio I can look at. I really look at their work. I look at how the artist interacts with other clients.

Some people feel differently about tattoo shows. Some people think it is a lot of hype. Some people think the shows are rigged. That is just another opinion. I will continue to be a tattoo show junkie.

Pretty great birthday

We finally made it to Las Vegas!

We Were lucky enough to be able to check into or room early plus get an upgrade. We are also scheduled  late check out at no extra charge!  The view from our room is amazing! !! Oh.... and did inmention free? !?!? Yeah our cabbie referred to our hotel as oneof the best in town. It would have been over $300 a night! Plus it is smarter than I am! Everything from lights to erunthe Aubrie is condoled by a touch Screen.

The tub in our hotel is HUGE! I may have taken a couple of baths. It was too amazing not to!

I had no problem playing up the birthday girl sctick Complete with hat and pin. It earned me free shots, slot play AND a baloon hat.

The hubby picked up amazing deserts for my birthday!

I won't lie after being up for so long- by 9pm Vegas time (12am East coast time) I was ready for sleep. Usually on vacation we take a 3pm power nap. We did not. We will have to remember that today.

VIVA LAS VEGAS!

Get me to Las Vegas!

Here we go again! Another Vacation to Las Vegas!

People may be jealous.You shouldn't be. At least not yet.We haven't arrived. Wa are stucK. Stuck in Newark. Yes Children. I broke my Rule and flew through Newark... AGAIN! We should have learned the last time we flew through Newark that it would be a big Shit show.

Quick recap... We were flying back from Maine I think it may have been on a birthday trip too..on our way back on flight from Newark to Maine was canceled.I was on aThursday I bdole. they told us they couldn't get us out until MONDAY! We rented a car & drove back. It Was terrible. we had to step at a hotel because I was so tired I started crying.

Fast forward five years. Flights on time to Newark have been on time all damn day. ' I am attempting to be hopeful. THEN shit gets real! Flight Delayed. Air Traffic Control 41min! That IS less time than we have between fights. I flip out. I'm on the phone with the airline. They are beyond unhelpful. The agent had the nerve to aske if my dates Were flexible!?!? Think about this... MOST Americans take only so much vacation time a year. No my dates ARE NOT FUCKING FLEXABLE!!

The guy at the airport booth thinks we might just make it. Well..we missed it. It was late leaving Newark, but not hate enough! We Missed it by about 15 min when we finally taxied in.

The airline would see what they could do to could do get us in the next day-They would not pay for a room because it was an ATF Issue. AT this point I had to walk away and let my dear husband deal with it. I was at a point where I would say something that I would regret.

So overnight stay in Newark. Luckily, our fabulous travel agent (with help from her daughter, one of our best friends) booked a room with a free shuttle to sleep we didn't have to stay at the airport.

I was still mad and frankly ready to fly backto Maine and Say fuck the whole trip. once I calmed down I called our hotel to cancel the  reservations for today. I was especially bummed because Sunday we were  staying at a newer fabulous hotel. They were beyond nice. They rebooked everything a day later. It allowed us to still get the night free and our other to booked nights free as well.

Here we are row- Stanby to get into Vegas by 1030am and Confirmed by 230 pm.

Here is to hoping for the earlier flight and no more issues. -. because.. - IT IS MY BIRTHDAY BITCHES!!

People who knew me 3 years ago wouldn't have a clue

People who knew me three years ago would never believe that I was the same person. I'm not refering to weight loss here either. I'm talking about kids.

Holy shit! Shut the front door!

No, I dont have kids. No I dont want kids. I just dont think that every person under the age of 21 should be kept under lock & key until they can become respectable members of society. This DOES NOT mean that there aren't some ass hole kids and parents out there. I just don't assume they all are instantly.

How did this happen? Simply enough I became a godparent. I was pretty honored to know that if both parents and all family members died at the same time in a freak accident someone actually thought I would be a good guardian. 

I was scared as hell when my godson was just handed to me while he was still in the hospital. I really thought that I might drop him or injure him. I obviously did not. He didn't cry too much. He was a cutie. He didn't smell too terrible ( until he popped of course). THEN he had a sister, and I became a godparent again. I was still scared of dropping her and all that stuff. But it wasnt bad.

My godchildren are the cutes kids ever. They are little people. They aren't little ass holes.  Thry are pretty cool little people actually. It melts my heart a little more each time I see a  video of my godson.

So...you could say that my godchildren have had the same effect the Whos had on the Grinch. My heart HAS grown three sizes!

Relaxation and De-Stressing

I’ve been under a lot of stress over the past few months. A LOT of stuff has been going on. I’ve been feeling out of control. Obviously I eat when I’m feeling out of control, which has added to my stress.

A few days ago I decided that I was going to see if there were any hypnosis apps for weight loss. I really assumed that was my biggest issue. Little did I realize that a big part of my issue was stress itself.

Two days ago I had a rough day at work. I decided that the best course of action was to actually use a hypnosis app that I downloaded (for free I might add). I didn’t listen to the whole recording, but most of it. The next day my entire attitude and outlook had changed. The next day I listened to most of a partial relaxation hypnosis recording.

I will admit, I was skeptical. I also decide that it wouldn’t hurt anything to try it. The last two days have actually been quite amazing. I’ve been in the best mood that I’ve been in in a long time. I’ve looked at what people call challenges as nothing more than another opportunity to succeed. (I KNOW that I sound like a cheesy self-help book).

Today, after work I had to do an errand that I did not feel like doing. It turned into a disaster and I told the person I was running the errand for that I was sorry, but they would need to deal with it, because I did not have the time. I got attitude. I was angry, I was stressed. I wanted a meat lover’s stuffed crust pizza (as I’ve noted before, I deal with stress with food).

I came home after work, heated up my lean cuisine instead of ordering a pizza. I ate my dinner and decided that I would listen to the de-stress recording. My muscles were already aching and I was feeling a migraine about to come on. I decided I would listen with the lights off and see if I could get through the whole 20 minutes. I made it! I also felt almost all of my tense muscles melt. My head ache is just a dull but manageable pain. I took a quick shower and started some laundry.

I honestly DO feel at peace.

I know that hypnosis and self help is all in the head. So is my stress. It is overthinking, overanalyzing, and anger. If I can de-stress without pharmaceutical assistance, alcohol, or food I may just make it through!

It will always be a struggle. I will overcome

It has been a little over three years since I went under the knife and had gastric bypass surgery. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I just didn’t know how hard it would be. I’ve told people who give me the “you took the easy way out” look how hard it really is. I don’t know if I believed those words.

Gastric bypass surgery isn’t for the faint of heart. It isn’t for someone looking for the “easy way out”. Gastric bypass surgery takes work. Gastric bypass surgery is a last resort. I thought I understood all these words I’ve said. I really did not.

I have thought that the people who put back on weight after gastric bypass surgery were lazy and unmotivated. I’ve said it. It is partially true. I know this from experience. I’ve gotten lazy and I’ve seen about 20 pounds creep back on. I’ve gotten lazy. I’ve become complacent. It is easy to be lazy. It is easy to be complacent.

I knew that the honeymoon period would end. The doctors talk about it. Gastric bypass surgery does not change how the brain is wired. It gives you a tool to get the weight off. Honestly, the rest is up to you. It is a daily choice. I’ve been making poor choices. I’ve been lazy. I haven’t been exercising. I’ve been eating things I know that I shouldn’t. I’ve been eating when I’m depressed. I’ve been eating when I’m happy. Gastric bypass does not change addictions.

Food for me is an addiction. It always had been. If I could rewire my brain I would. I eat when I’m not hungry. I find ways around my smaller stomach by eating small amounts more often so I don’t have an upset stomach.

I have made the decision to get back on track. I’m not doing it through dieting. I’m doing it by changing my behaviors. I’m doing it by making better choices when it comes to food. I have to look at it this way. Dieting is a temporary fix. It doesn’t solve the problem of the brain. It doesn’t fix an addiction.

I have to remember the commitment I made to myself when I started my journey four years ago. When I walked into the informational meeting I made a commitment to not let myself get out of control again. I made a commitment that I wanted to live. I didn’t want to die of diabetes or a heart attack. I wanted to be healthy. I will admit, I wanted to stop being the fat girl with a pretty face.

I need to take my life back from addiction. It is going to be even tougher now. I have the tools to do it. I KNOW how to do it. I need to just follow through.

(I refer to just Gastric Bypass surgery in this blog because this is what I am familiar with. There are other weight loss surgery options. None is harder or easier than the other. I chose the one that I felt was best for me. Each person who has the surgery is a strong person. They just have to find a way to overcome addictions. It is not easy. I commend each and every person who makes this choice. I wish them nothing but success in their journey. I hope that they are realistic of their expectations. I hope they realize that relapse is possible. I hope they have the power to overcome once the honeymoon is over. People can’t be afraid to ask for help. It isn’t failure if you recognize the problem and fix it).

Frenemies suck

There are some people I can never get over in my life. I’m not talking about the love of my life (because I still have him). I’m talking about frenemies. Those people who pretended to be your friend and then when your back is turned you get stabbed, repeatedly.

We all have one (or unfortunately more than one) of these people in our lives at some point. If we say we don’t, then we are good at forgetting or maybe just don’t want to be reminded. I have several. Those who know me well know that if I hadn’t transferred schools my Senior year of high school my life would be very different than it is now. It would probably not be for the best. I was headed in a direction that could have become a disaster. 

Some of these frenemies may have helped me go that direction. Some of these frenemies may have pushed me into this direction. I will take a lot of responsibility for allowing it to happen, but let’s be honest pre-teens and teens can be mean and can change their attitudes quicker than they change their boyfriends. 

The worse of the frenemies were “there for you” when things were bad. They helped pick up the pieces when tricks were played on you by guys who wanted to be your boyfriend, only to have their best guy friend call two days later to break up with you. They were “sad” when you moved away. These same people who told people that you moved away because you a) got pregnant and were SENT away b) were in rehab c) had to get away because they couldn’t deal with it and dropped out of school. They also told people that you spread rumors about other friends. You wonder why they stopped calling or trying to hang out, only to find out years later about these rumors.

I’ve tried to forgive these people, and was able to forget about it. I knew that they were out of my life for good and I could just move on with my life… then it happens… You run into this person while out with friends and it all comes back. You keep your distance. You try to not interact. You put on your face and play nice. Deep down you wonder when the bottom is going to fall out. You wonder if you will ever feel like you are going to be out of high school even though you are in your mid 30s. 

I wonder what will happen when we actually move far away (as in another state). I wonder if people who I’m great friends with will forget me or if these people will fill their heads full of lies and I have to just pick up again and make new friends who will NEVER meet these frenemies.

How did that super new moon work out?

After my last blog entry, you would assume I was optimistic and ready to take on 2014. I was. It was short lived.

 

2014 thus far has been a shit-storm. How I’ve been dealing with it has not be productive. I’m unmotivated and tired.

 

I want to be motivated. I want to be happy. I want to deal with things differently. Somehow I haven’t found how to make that change.

 

I’m having difficulty getting the motivation to get the last 20-30 pounds off that I need to lose. I keep losing and regaining the same 10 pounds.

 

I don’t know how to get out of this terrible funk. Hopefully this will pass!

New Super Moon for 2014. What does it mean?

A customer mentioned to me toward the end of 2013 that a New Moon would bring in 2014. It was meant to flush out all the negativity that 2013 brought us. I decided to start doing research. With it I started thinking about 2013.

I had intended with 2013 to blog or post a status update about what wonderful things happened. Admittedly, I didn’t get very far with that .New Year’s resolutions don’t usually stick. If they do they might stick for a few months and then we get back into our bad habits. One of mine is admittedly bitching. I may not have been direct affected, but it seems like there was a lot of horrific and sad things that happened in 2013. When I think back about how “bad” 2013 was, I honestly was very lucky. I was actually blessed.

I had some things irritating happen, but I’m still alive. I did not break my tailbone in 2013. I did not have a car accident. I was not hospitalized. Ernie is overall healthy.

We DID have tough decisions to make this year. We have had some issues with the house. Don’t forget the damn ice storm and loss of power (ours was not as bad as others).

I honestly, think that 2013 was a wash for me personally. It could have been worse, but it also could have been better.

So what does this New Moon, which is also a “Super Moon” really mean for 2014?

When I was done feeling sorry for myself, and then realizing that it could have been worse, I started researching how this New Super Moon really means.

This New Moon, literally means out with the old and in with the new. As my customer put it, it flushes out 2013 and brings us a whole new life. That sounds nice and all. I wanted to know what that really meant. I found tons of info, but not a lot of it made any sense.

Even if you put zero stock in moon cycles or astrology there are things to think about. To make 2014 better for you as a whole you have to make changes and different choices. The New Moon on New Year’s Day is supposed to make that easier. You still have to make the change and commit to the change. We can’t expect that just because a New Super Moon fell on New Year’s Day that the world will do all the work for us. All the research I did pointed to the fact that this just provides the right timing to make changes but it is all up to us.

As we reflect on 2013, maybe we should not just focus on tragedy, but how we deal with it. Tragedy will always be there, that will not change. Death is part of life. It sucks. It isn’t easy. Obstacles are part of life. Life isn’t easy. Bad things happen. That isn’t going to change. How we deal with tough situations is what needs to change. How we react to situations needs to change. How we turn those situations around needs to change.

I’m not suggesting that we can’t grieve when life throws us a big pile of shit at us. It will happen. We just need to change what we do and how we pick up the pieces.

New Moon or not, 2014 is going to be what we make of it. If you commit to yourself that it will be better it will be. You have to follow through and make a plan. Wishing it to be better won’t make it better. Action will. The New Moon may just give us that extra gumption to do something about it.