Crazy Dreams... Where did this come from?

I know that I’m not the only one that has crazy dreams. This one was SO real that I almost thought it was true when I woke up. I was almost crying, I couldn’t believe it happened.

I was being my regular crazy self. I was learning to ride a motorcycle. A good friend of mine was trying to teach me I should say. Yeah, I kept dumping the bike. He didn’t get mad at me. After I would have an unsuccessful session of learning to ride, we would go dancing and get hammered ( I needed some way to deal with the pain from falling so many times). This, unfortunately was not the sad part of the dream.

After one night of crazy drinking. I woke up naked, on the floor (again, not the part that made me cry). My friend asked when I got the tattoo on my ass, because it was hot… almost as great as my tits (again, not the crying)… wait, that was when I started crying. WHEN DID I GET A TATTOO ON MY ASS?

I went and stood in front a full length mirror (yeah, my guy friend has a full length mirror in his house… go figure). And right above my left ass cheek, like a tramp stamp to the left, in cursive I saw the words, “Permanent Resting Bitch Face”. I guess I should have been glad that it was all spelled correctly.

Hubby hears me screaming, and wakes his ass up. He is already pissed off because he thinks I’m annoying drunk. He comes running into the room, even more pissed that I’m not sleeping next to him in a strange house. Then he gets extra pissed that I’m in another man’s room buck ass naked.  He looks right at me and asks, “What the hell?”

I manage to sputter out, “When did this happen?”, and point to my ass.

He looks confused, and asks, “What are you talking about?”

I scream at the top of my lungs, “This fucking tattoo across my ass!!!!”

He just shakes his head, and asks, “Really?!?!”

I ask him how long he has known about it (it is obvious that I’ve had it for at least a couple of years. It is well done, and obviously well healed).

He goes back to bed.

I eventually find out that I’ve had the tattoo for years. It started out as a cover-up to a home done butterfly tattoo. Then I just started doing a whole “piece”. It all came back to me. No, I wasn’t drunk tattooed in my dream. It was just that I don’t typically look at my own ass, so I happened to forget about it (kind of like my cat on the back of my neck).

When Ernie wakes me up, I tell him about the dream and he can’t stop laughing. He slaps my ass, and tells me, don’t worry, no tattoo. no tattoo.