I know that I’m not the only one that has crazy dreams. This
one was SO real that I almost thought it was true when I woke up. I was almost
crying, I couldn’t believe it happened.
I was being my regular crazy self. I was learning to ride a
motorcycle. A good friend of mine was trying to teach me I should say. Yeah, I
kept dumping the bike. He didn’t get mad at me. After I would have an unsuccessful
session of learning to ride, we would go dancing and get hammered ( I needed
some way to deal with the pain from falling so many times). This, unfortunately
was not the sad part of the dream.
After one night of crazy drinking. I woke up naked, on the
floor (again, not the part that made me cry). My friend asked when I got the
tattoo on my ass, because it was hot… almost as great as my tits (again, not
the crying)… wait, that was when I started crying. WHEN DID I GET A TATTOO ON MY
ASS?
I went and stood in front a full length mirror (yeah, my guy
friend has a full length mirror in his house… go figure). And right above my
left ass cheek, like a tramp stamp to the left, in cursive I saw the words, “Permanent
Resting Bitch Face”. I guess I should have been glad that it was all spelled
correctly.
Hubby hears me screaming, and wakes his ass up. He is already
pissed off because he thinks I’m annoying drunk. He comes running into the
room, even more pissed that I’m not sleeping next to him in a strange house.
Then he gets extra pissed that I’m in another man’s room buck ass naked. He looks right at me and asks, “What the hell?”
I manage to sputter out, “When did this happen?”, and point
to my ass.
He looks confused, and asks, “What are you talking about?”
I scream at the top of my lungs, “This fucking tattoo across
my ass!!!!”
He just shakes his head, and asks, “Really?!?!”
I ask him how long he has known about it (it is obvious that
I’ve had it for at least a couple of years. It is well done, and obviously well
healed).
He goes back to bed.
I eventually find out that I’ve had the tattoo for years. It
started out as a cover-up to a home done butterfly tattoo. Then I just started
doing a whole “piece”. It all came back to me. No, I wasn’t drunk tattooed in
my dream. It was just that I don’t typically look at my own ass, so I happened to
forget about it (kind of like my cat on the back of my neck).
When Ernie wakes me up, I tell him about the dream and he
can’t stop laughing. He slaps my ass, and tells me, don’t worry, no tattoo. no tattoo.
