It's my Party

Your life is your party. It is a party you throw for yourself. You control everything from the decorations, the music, and the guest list. Would you put up mustard yellow decorations if your favorite color is pink? Would you play country music if you hate it, and love dance music? Would you invite you least favorite person? Would you change YOUR party to make your least favorite person happy?

You invite people to your party who make you feel alive. You invite people who know how to have a good time. You know these people will have fun just being wth you. 

If we have one life/party why do we worry about people who shouldn't even be there? The people who haven't been invited? 

I get so worried about other people. I worry about their problems. I try to fix them. I worry about if they actually like me. I try to fix them. I neglect myself to fix others. 

Who is going to fix me? Obviously, I can't fix other people, I can only fix mselr and my reactions to others. Not very one is going to like me. I can't help people who can't help themselves. 

It is I to remember it is MY party!

Yes, the grass is greener!

In life we are always looking to have more and be better. We are NEVER happy with what we have. 

We are always looking for the next thing. We love our job, but still look for something better. We have a reliable car, but trade it after two years, and end up upside down because something is newer. We end relationships because we think we can or should do better. 

I'm not saying that we should not strive for something better or stay in unhappy relationships. There are times when we need to walk away. 

Yes, the grass is greener on the other side. What we don't stop to take into account is that it is because it is AstroTurf. That "grass" on the other side is fake, an illusion, an unhealthy obsession. 

Think about all the things, or people you want (that you don't have). Is it really going to make you happier? Is it going to make your life more fulfilling? 

Instead of worrying about the greener grass, take time to enjoy what you have. Enjoy the way your grass feels under your bare feet. Enjoy the way your grass smells after a summer rain. Enjoy the trees that provide shade to your grass. Enjoy the bees that pollinate the wildflowers. 

Greener grass does not sustain life.  Greener grass does not energize your senses.

 Greener grass does exists, but who needs greener grass when you already have what you need in your OWN back yard!

Work on yourself

Some days it is easier to worry about the well being of others than yourself. Those same days, you need to step back and look at what is important. 

Ask yourself the following:

a) would they be or have they ever been there for you?

...if the answer is no, then don't worry about them, focus on healing yourself. 

There are no other questions. 

Room 121

That's exactly what it was room 121. 

It isn't my favorite room number, but I hope it will become one that changes the course of my life. 

Mental illness isn't something people talk about because they don't know how to react. The doctor said, it isn't like a broken leg. People can SEE that, they ask what happened, if you are doing ok. When  something inside your mind snaps, no one can see it. No one really wants to know the reason you had a break. No one wants to see it. 

I am broken. I'm rebuilding. It is ok to ask me how I am. It is ok to ask if I need anything. Don't be surprised if I say I'm fine and I don't need anything. Don't be surprised if I say I'm not fine, and I just need space, a shoulder to cry on, or a cup of tea. 

I may be broken, but I'm not totaled. I'm still here. I am salvageable.